Picture this. A husband and wife doze peacefully in their quiet home in Japan’s Kanagawa Prefecture.
They never lock their front door because — in their cozy abode amidst friendly neighborhood environs — they’ve never been given a reason to raise their guard.
The man awakens just after 5 a.m. to use the bathroom. He hears water from the shower running, but he’s the only family member awake.
“Odd,” his half-awake brain thinks.
As he approaches the restroom, the tap stops.
Suddenly, a completely naked American sailor emerges from behind the door, a fellow the homeowner has never met before.
It might not sound like the usual trespassing case, but it’s exactly what Petty Officer 2nd Class Nathaniel Williams has been accused of doing after he was allegedly discovered in the family’s home on Feb. 2, according to Japan Today.
Heroically, the husband was able to shed both the early morning cobwebs and the unique paralysis caused only by confronting the genitalia of an unknown sailor to subdue the 27-year-old American.
How Williams was restrained, however, was not specified.
Given the apparent state of inebriation he had achieved, it’s entirely possible Williams was subdued by a sandwich — or Doritos Locos tacos, a pillar of drunken culinary delights.
But once Williams was under control, the wife called the police.
Given the lack of forced entry indicators, Williams is believed to have strolled right through the front door, and the sailor confessed to the trespassing rap once authorities arrived at the scene, reports indicated.
But are there not bigger elements at play here?
What was Williams doing prior to allegedly trespassing that necessitated a subsequent 5 a.m. shower in a stranger’s home?
Secondly, maintaining good hygiene is excessively emphasized throughout the U.S. military, not just at his command, Aircraft Intermediate Maintenance Detachment Atsugi.
Should Williams not be commended for his undying commitment to pristine sanitation — no matter the circumstance?
Where is “Unsolved Mysteries” when you need them?
An investigation into the incident is underway.
Jon Simkins is the executive editor for Military Times and Defense News, and a Marine Corps veteran of the Iraq War.
